Something Different - Jan 2010

For the initial offering, I have included a few jokes, questions and hints on product use. If you have something along these lines that you would like us to publish, please send them to me at vernazzarov@cox.net.

How I got thru the end of the year......    
 
Inner Peace.
        By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found inner peace.  the article read: " the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started."  
 
        So I looked around the house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished.....and before starting the day this morning, I finished off a bottle of red wine, a bottle of white, the Bailey's, Kahlua, Tia Maria, my Prozac, some valium, my cigarettes, and a box of chocolates.   You have no idea how good I feel........Peace.

After having their 11th child, a Kentucky couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So, the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure, called a vasectomy, that could fix the problem, but that it was expensive.

"A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry bomb, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10."

The Kentuckian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can, next to my ear, is going to help me."

"Trust me," said the doctor, "it works."

So, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count!

"1"

"2"

"3"

"4"

"5"

At which point, he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and
resumed counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in West Virginia, Missouri, Arkansas, Tennessee and Oklahoma.

 

   What is the name of the only NFL team owned by a community?

The Green Bay Packers, owned by the city of Green Bay, Wisconsin. Click on drop down icon at right for answer

   What is the only European country in which every able-bodied male is a member of the armed forces?

Click on drop down ican at right for answer Switzerland

The Magic of Aluminum Foil

Sharpen your scissors - Fold strips of the foil into several layers and then cut away. When you are done, use the cut pieces as mix for your planting mulch. It will help keep hungry insects and slugs away.

Clean your iron - Run the hot iron over a piece of aluminum foil to get rid of the sticky stuff that attaches to the iron from spray starches.

Steel wool pad preserver - Prevent the rust that always seems to appear after using them by wrapping your steel wool pad in aluminum foil and toss it into the freezer.